Rushed post, forgive the mistakes. I just needed to write.
It’s Christmas Eve and I am up early like most any other day. The cats have been fed, the dogs have been outside, and I have had my first cup of coffee. Surprisingly my youngest son is also up and watching cartoons. I start my vacation today and don’t return to work until January 5th. I try and save enough vacation days each year to do that along with put my request in early and most of the time it works out.
Christmas is a magical time of year. For me personally, the Christmas season is also a time where I am in constant amazement at the good I see in people. It’s not that I’m wearing rose colored glasses and completely ignorant to the bad that is also prevalent, I just happen to focus my thoughts on what is good around me. I could write a very long philosophical post on this subject alone but today my thoughts are elsewhere.
This Christmas might be very different for my family. I woke up this Christmas Eve morning alone, for the first time in twenty three years. So what is good about that? What’s good is my wife is in the hospital being treated for something that could have turned into something far worse. She had surgery about a week and a half ago on her foot. It involved bone spurs and her Achilles’ tendon. She’s had a cast on her foot and can have no pressure at all on that foot while it heals. This has left her mostly immobile, having to hop around the house using a walker for the last week and a half. Sunday, we had last minute Christmas shopping to do for our kids and my wife was determined to go with me. Her mother showed up Sunday morning with a borrowed wheelchair and we ventured off to our closest Walmart which is about twenty five miles away. Thankfully, they had the little motorized scooters available because my wife was on a mission and I don’t think my mother-in-law or I could have wheeled her around the store quick enough. Mission accomplished and my wife spent the rest of the day wrapping presents.
Monday my wife had her first checkup on her surgery. They removed the cast and everything appeared to be healing well. She has had leg pain which she assumed to be muscular. It wasn’t. They did an ultrasound and found a large clot, immediately admitting her to the hospital to start treatment. The treatment that should have started right away somehow got canceled and was put off until the next morning. My wife didn’t see the point in wasting the evening in the hospital and that is when she took charge and started questioning. She’s a nurse and understands these things. I don’t. Monday evening as I was going to bed, my wife was texting me that she was getting shots in her stomach. And she was happy about it. I joked with her that she should clock in since she was obviously helping with her own care.
My wife is pretty tough when it comes to medical issues, both for others and for herself. She once played in a softball tournament four days after having her gall bladder removed because we needed her. She just tends to think about others needs instead of her own. That is probably what makes her such a great nurse. We needed someone on first base and she’s a lefty. I know that sounds so wrong and we laugh about it now but thankfully it worked out. She didn’t injure herself and we won a city championship.
Today my wife will be thinking about others too. I will go see her in a few hours and she will have a list of last minute things for me to do that she normally would take care of. Tonight there will be a Christmas Eve party I will have to go to with the kids. It’s tradition and my wife doesn’t want us not to go. It just doesn’t seem right.
There is a chance that she will get released today. There is some magic number the doctor is looking for in her blood and if she hits it, she gets to come home today, only to return tomorrow for more blood work. If not, she will spend the night once again at the hospital and we will not wake up next to each other on Christmas morning for the first time. I would gladly stay at the hospital but my wife is thinking of the kids.
It’s not just a date. Christmas is a feeling and more than a date. It’s a season. It’s about family and what is good with mankind. It’s about giving and feeling good about it. It’s warmth, and love, and holding hands while seeing the lights twinkle on the tree.
I know I am being selfish but all I want for Christmas is to wake up next to my wife so she doesn’t have to wake up alone. I know I will. It might not be tomorrow but I will. Then it will be Christmas Day.
Love you Angie!
Merry Christmas to you all!